a very different life/shame it had to be a pandemic

It is day 11 for me, yesterday I didn’t have enough to put down to justify writing. I’m not sure if today is any different, we shall see.

I took a drive to the pharmacy today, and it was glorious. It was also terrifying and strange as I and the other customers (there weren’t many) did this dance around each other, sometimes it was smooth, we were getting good. Other times it was jumpy and apologetic, not quite masters yet.

There’s a seriousness that has settled on the real world which can only be rivaled by the absurdity the collectively (bored/bored and angry) internet. Every bad joke imaginable has either come out of my mouth or I have sent the meme to someone or someone has sent me one. The revolution will be meme-ized.

I’m trying to ignore the numbers, because the numbers is what makes it very difficult to find hope. I am not good at cutting myself off from news, but I’ve made very strict rules for myself and I’m
not in a pit of despair yet, which I easily fall into so props to me. I’d thought I’d share them with you.

1. News briefings only.
-What new things do I need to know for my safety?
-What new things do I need to know for other’s safety?
-How can I help?
My man Cuomo is apparently doing the exact thing that he was crafted to do. I do not particularly like the guy but props for finding your calling my friend. Shame it had to be a pandemic.

2. Local News and news directly related to federal actions being taken
-Now, I hate to say it but if you can stomach watching the federal response news briefings there is a tiny bit of substance (and proper fear it seems now). Granted the gaslighting and the bullying still exist but whatever we’re working with what we have this year.

3. The numbers: Don’t check them. It’s not good for you. Who are you helping by knowing the number dead?
-Are you washing your hands?
-Are you not touching your face?
-Are you practicing social distancing?
If you answered yes to all those questions you can do no more, therefore, the numbers don’t mean anything to you and will hurt your mental health.

4. Escapist TV none of that pandemic, outbreak, the stand shit that we usually really love because we are kind of a macabre species, but just like (most?) true crime lovers don’t actually want to get murdered. I’d say all of the people watching a disease movie would say no thank you when it came to being in an actual pandemic.

There are some weird things that are happening on social networking due to this virus. Now that and phones are the only way we can contact people outside of our isolation bubble.

Everybody’s going facebook live, whether it’s live music, I watched someone cook cupcakes, people just talking about their day. It’s going to be a thing.

The late night talk shows now look like the famous you tubers videos before they were famous. Like weirdly lit and awkward because they don’t quite get jump cut editing because they’re used to having space for applause and laughter. It’s weird, it’s awkward, and for some reason it’s not the lockdown it’s not the empty streets but it’s that fucking weird thing that makes this feel like peak dystopia.

All of us just communicating digitally.

Maybe it feels like we’re all leaving what we can behind because we’re not sure who is going to be left when this is all over. I mean I know a sick part of me has started being more prolific during this time just in case. At least we have internet, at least we can still communicate with friends. I’m holding on pretty tightly to the tiny part of my brain that still has some hope for the human race. And we have had good news on that front every now and then.

Anyway, be kind to each other, hold virtual hands, read, make art, don’t feel pressured into getting things done though, we are living a very different life than we were even just a week ago.

love always,bri



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