do not go back to normal yet

Day four, and it seems as if people are already trying to get back to normal. There are more cars on the road, usually I walk in an isolated time and there were a lot of people on the streets. It’s mask time. I’m not really willing to mess around with this thing, I’ve learned to like my life and being here this year and I’m not going to let someone sneeze me out of existence. I worked hard for that attachment. I want a sign that says stay six feet away from me. I’m going to start wearing a plague doctor mask and maybe that’ll keep ‘em away.

What I’ve noticed about Americans is we do not like civil (or otherwise) disobedience. We suck at striking, we do not support our black brothers and sisters when they need us most. There is a line that runs through the gay community, AIDS, even if you are a queer woman we remember the government forgetting our people. It feels like that, except it’s like 50% malice and 50% incompetence instead of 90/10.

I’m trying to look at the bright side here, I’ve been making work, I’ve been in contact with people I haven’t really spoken to in a while. I’m encouraging connection, today I went photographing while on the phone with Craig, we did something together without having to be in the same place. I speak on the phone once a week with my rotation (if you’d like to be added I’ll be taking a lot more walks, although if they continue to get busier it’s going to be too early in the morning for phone calls). I’ve been writing a lot, planning my watercolor/poetry book. Hoping to whittle down some choices of poems first.

Maybe it’s I’m good in a crisis, maybe I think that having all of us shut down for a few weeks is a good thing. Get back to basics, find out what you really want to do. Notice that nothing really matters so go have some fun. Right now, just not so close to anyone. We’re going to come out of this a flighty traumatized world, much like gun violence has traumatized our nation.

We have to keep reaching out, it’s lonely behind these screens, it’s scary out there, and no one really knows what’s going to happen.

Much love, stay safe, be kind

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