Mountains

I’m starting to write a book of poetry combined with drawings and watercolor so here’s a new poem. I’d love for feedback

we climbed mountains together
imaginary or not, we climbed mountains
with our tiny bodies getting lost in the woods
and staring at the peak, which seemed so far
yelling about adventures, the animals we found there
adventures we would have as we got older
with age came pain though, we didn’t expect
how could we, just small ones running across my yard
it was unimaginable as we learned about the world
we still climbed mountains
a little slower
a little crueler
i missed you but i was not ready to mourn
until the cruelest thing i ever heard
came piercing like daggers through my heart
it was the beginning of the end there
still taunting me years later
as if you pointed out something i was not prepared to hear
i am ready to mourn
but each time you pull me back
with a smile and an adventure
back to the toxicity we create together
the perfect storm
ignoring my concerns, playing comparison
learning compassion will bend both of us
not in a way that will fix this
two planets meant to orbit each other
split on opposite sides of the universe
no longer near
those mountains we used to climb
they are slippery now
breaking us into tiny pieces
and we are out of glue that works for us
nothing else will hold this together
so maybe it’s time to walk away
maybe it’s time to protect the both of us
maybe to protect the love that is left
end it on an okay note
i don’t know if we’ll ever climb mountains again
but we will love those good times
before the venom that came out of your mouth
the one that was the beginning of the end
i don’t think we have good things left
i still love you, in a way I’ve never loved before
i hope you still love me
but pain is pain and i can’t stop hurting
myself just for history
i’m sorry for the part i played
it’s just, I’m not sure you are

so for now,
goodbye

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